Monday, 20 September 2010

It's a tight fit!!

In my jeans, that is!! Everything's way too snug (and I'm being nice over here!!)

It's that time of year when, with summer drawing to an end and you're heading full swing into Autumn, you sort of tally up your latest achievements.... and epic fails.

- Achievement - sorting out the spare room.
- Fail - cutting back on my daily calorie intake!

Fat on Alex: 1 - Diet: 0

It's not like I don't know what I should be doing, what to cut back on and where to draw the line. I do... oh how I do!
The problem is my brain. Brain you say? don't you mean the size of your mouth? Umm.. well yeah, that too. But let's face it, dieting is an attitude! It's about wrapping your head around the concept that you really don't need all that stuff that daily enters your piehole!

I always say that you can really only start dieting when you've reached the point of no return, when you look at yourself in the mirror and are so horrified at what's starting back at you, that you don't even recognize yourself. It's that moment when even your "fat pants" start to scream for help!

Well my friends, this is is. We have soooo reached that point, it's not even funny.
When your tummy resembles Jello-O, and your butt sticks so far out that you start to resemble the letter "d" when seen from the side, you know you really need to do something about it!

And so I bring you.... needle and thread. Yeah... to sew my mouth shut!

Now all chant with me:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the
fact that my butt size needs to change;
courage to keep my piehole shut when I can;
and wisdom to know that further down the line

it'll make a big difference!"

Amen.

2 comments:

  1. today, i went to the store and bought healthy stuff. I planned the meals i would eat for lunch...got healthy crap for breakfast...ugh!! i hate the dedication and determination needed to always do/eat the right thing!

    I wish i could just fast forward this part til i'm skinnier!

    I'm with you! Oh, alex, I'm so with you!

    ~hl~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well thank you! A girl needs all the support she can get!
    I'll be rooting for you too then!

    ReplyDelete

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